Joseph Sightings – Have you seen him?

Posted by Joseph | August 26, 2009 .

This is a section purely dedicated to joseph sightings….. if you’ve seen him then we want to hear about it and also get all the juicy goss on how the experience was for you.

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Message From ME!

Hello Everybody..

Well its great to see you all on here. Ive just been downloading my new programme for work at Eyetech, its brilliant! Not only that but it comes with a ‘hands-free’ kit, so I can make phone calls to technicians. I can multitask away now.I was getting sick of using a rubberband to hold the phone up to my ear while typing and talking, my good mothers back teeth did it hurt taking the rubberband off! So I am glad for the free hands kit…hands free kit!

Colin said I’m a ‘onetasker’ ..but what does he know, he has a little clay pink pig at his workstation!!..and his ties!! Have you seen them?!! You will in the movie they are flipping ridiculous.

Went to my local record store yesterday to get the brand new CD/DVD “Ocean Serenity”. Its brilliant! I’ve been listening to it on my jogs of late, I just close my eyes…drift away to a beach where Im having penicolada’s..I hear the sea.. except I have a few bruises on my legs as last week I crashed into two young women, a rubbish bin, and a chain. The chain took me out, was a big surprise..skinned my bees knees. I still haven’t learned to keep my eyes open while listening to music. But as mum used to say to me as a little child ‘Shepards morning….turkish delight?’.. She always had a way with words, even though at the time I didn’t understand what she was saying.

Anyway it’s lunch, Bernard brought lunch!A marmite,cheese and lettuce sandwich. I like lettuce, and a fruit juice. So I had better go. For now take care all of you.

Yours Faithfully

Joseph Reedman.

15th October 2009

Hello people,

I have to tell you,Bernard is my best friend but today he said a crazy statement. He thought that I was standing on the shoulders of giants…What!? I had to correct him as

a) No I wasn’t, I was there talking to him

b)If I was on a giants shoulders… and I fell off, well that would hurt, and I’d get grass stains on my cordouroys.

Anyway Bernard comes out with these things now and again. This is just a quick hello to you all because I have to get my pants drycleaned this afternoon as I had an altication with the printer. I have a big blue stain around the.. well it is embarrassing, it ryhmes with clutch..al area. But I’m fine now after listening to track six on my Ocean Serenity CD. Its a great song featuring the sound of sea and the call of the humpback whales, (theres also a few bird calls in there as well).

Tomorrow is “Funday Friday” we all get to wear a cool shirt to the office. Bernard made the girls angry last year with his shirt. It was something with a donkey on it saying ‘your an ass kisser’. I didn’t really understand it, but Veronica our new receptionist said it was bad taste. She is with the PODIFLL (Protection Of Donkeys In Foreign Land League). I said to her ‘Look Veronica that just is too much of a mouthfull to even say so I think you should just cool your jets”. That just made her wild. Maybe she needs to get Ocean Serenity too?

Anyway I have to go, Liam and I are playing baseball tonight then round to dad’s for tea. Till next time

Yours Faithfully

Joseph Reedman

29th October 2009

Hello people,

Ive just downloaded the new song from Ocean Serenity 2.. it has GREAT lyrics, Ive written them below as inspiration for you all. This is their first album where they combine whale and dolphin sounds with the sea and the great sound of pan pipes. The lead singer is a household name in the village he comes from. I cannot spell his name but it sounds like Tree and Tea..treeteaseeme or something like this hes from south america I think? Not sure..heres the lyrics. Sit back..relax and let these words inspire you to jog, or do a new weaving course. These lyrics inspired me to start a worm farm. Ive already got some dirt in a glass case out the back at home. Must stop at the grocery store to get some sunlight liquid for the worms.

Ocean Calling

‘Here the wind of the ocean calling the trees are alive with the thunder clapping (Clap clap clap)

See the breeze, no you can’t see the breeze because its a breeeze (Pan pipes are playing now)

See the worms weaving in the ground to the sound of the drum and the whale and the dolphin (pipes,whales,sea all making great noises).

I hope that soothed you. Have a nice day!

Yours Faithfully Joseph Reedman.

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4 Comments so far

simon Gray September 15, 2009 4:01 am

Hay Hi,

Yeah I saw him in Christchurch, he was over here for a computer convention. He was driving a laser and man did he have his pants up high. I don’t think he can drive well, he was ‘farting’ down the road and his car was doing bunny hops. He must have mistaken the clutch for the brakes.
Brooks Rohman September 17, 2009 2:22 am

Yeah, I saw him…I thought I’d seen it all in my days of copy machine repair but Joseph, that bloke took the cake! I rounded the cubicle to find Reedman leaning up against the copier. The guy had been calling my mobile every half an hour for the last day and a half, even at home. Apparently he had reached into his Dockers to get a piece of gum and had turned his pocket inside out. Next thing he knew his pocket lining got sucked into the copier during collate mode. Thing got so jammed in there we had to cut his pants off. The best part…the toner had absorbed through the pocket and his pants and left a perfectly round stain on the bottom of his Jockeys! Not only did he have to walk through the office in his unmentionables, but it had a huge black stain over his bum! Ha! I almost had an accident myself I was laughing so hard. You go Reedman!
Brooks Rohman
Xerox Technician
Richard Addis September 30, 2009 8:14 am

Yeah I seen him, I was driving down the road and I saw this dude out for a jog and he was wearing those real 80s style stubbies the ones with the wee pocket on the front and an ”I love the Fraggles” t shirt.He went to jump one of those chain barrier things that go around some parks and full on stacked it ,bit the dirt sort of carry on,I’d say he might have needed a dentist.Anyway he just got up looked around to see if anyone saw and tried to jog it off but man what a flippin idiot.
Keith Reedman November 15, 2009 7:55 pm

Joseph Reeedman was my grandfather. I last saw him the day he died aged 86 in 1969. By then his wonderful moustache had turned grey except for where it was stained brown with nicotine tar. He grew and cured his own tobacco and was forever enveloped in a stinking cloud of acrid smoke. Only genetic indisposition prevented him getting lung cancer I suppose – or it may have been his generally miserable temperament. At least he did belatedly marry my grandmother.

Yours sincerely,

Keith Reedman